Lester Drake Lewis's About Me

Hello to the cold world, I was named Lester Drake Lewis by my dad who absolutely despises me. My mom didn't name me because my dad is a control freak.I'd like to be called Les, but I can't. It's either the teachers' who call me Lester. Or the kids who call me Suicidal Freak, Emo Kid, Wrist Cutter, Short Penis, or Makeup Fag. I am sixteen years old at the moment, will be turning seventeen on June 27th. But who really cares? You know what I receive for my birthday? For how old I am, like sixteen, I get sixteen whips from a belt. And trust me, my dad whips me HARD. Not the way a good dad would whip their child for doing a bad thing. But I'm talking about the abusive kind of dad. See, I had an okay life before my mom died. Most of the time, she could stop my dad from abusing me, but now that she had died from a car crash, I get beaten, whipped, punched, kicked, slapped every day. And the kids at Pave View only make it worse. They call me names, shove me against lockers, tape insults on my locker, beat me up, threaten me, dump food on my head at lunch, and other things. Everything that goes on with my life makes me suicidal and makes me cut. I've been contemplating suicide for almost three years now. And I slit my wrist every day. I have almost no space left to cut.  No one understands what I go through. You want to know what's keeping me from killing myself? Because without this, I would have killed myself way before now. The hope of one day talking to the girl of my dreams. Her name is Ally Nicole Vernon. She's kind of like me. Just not bullied, depressed, suicidal, or cuts. She's just as shy and nervous as I am. She hardly talks to anyone, yet everyone loves her. She's the Teacher's Pet, but not the bad, stuck-up kind. The sweet, quiet, and beautiful kind. Oh, and the shy kind. She's beautiful. She's sweet. She's smart. She's talented. She's... perfect. But I just cannot talk to her. It's impossible. Everything about her makes me so nervous. Every time I'm even in one foot distance with her, I'm so nervous I could wet my pants. And I bet you if I was sitting with her or just standing next to her, I WOULD actually wet my pants. I'm just so desperately, absolutely, crazily, unbelievably, and out-of-my-mind in love with her. She's the only girl I've ever fallen in love with. And I want to be together with her so badly. I want her to be my first kiss. My first girlfriend. My first... everything about love. And if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then yes. Yes, that, too. But I'm talking about in the far future with that... if we ever get together. Doubt we ever will. But I'm just saying.

I could go on and on about Ally all day if I could. But I'll l just stop here with my about me. Bye.